Mood : Tired.
Playing : Ragnarok Online, Trickster Online, Harvest Moon DS.
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*Blows the dust off the journal, opens it up, and flips through the many entries inside, the last one being from October 11th, 2006...*

It's been awhile. I relize this, and many of you won't even read this, but...personally, it feels important to me that I update this journal tonight. Virtual or not, on a art website or not...this journal holds a large fraction of my life.

It's strange, reading so far back, even to the days that my father was alive. It seems so long ago, those days were...

It's been an odd 18th year of my life. Though, I really can't compare, as to seeing i've only been 18 just this once, and I don't much plan on being 18 again after the 27th of June. It's been my first step into adulthood. A very clumsy step, but a step none the less.

College life has been an unique experience for me. Alot of people I know are scared about what college will be like, and now, after almost a year of being in college, it's not that bad. It's not much different from High School, aside from the new freedoms offered to you.

For those who are wondering, i'm doing better lately. Alot less stress, and i've overall been much happier lately. I apologize for falling off the face of the earth and all my works dissappering from my DeviantArt page. I cannot guarntee i'll ever fully come back to DeviantArt. I've got nothing agaisn't it, it's just i've felt i've grown out of many of my artistic abilities that I once had.

Plus...i've got life to deal with now. Things i'd of never really gave two thoughts about 3-4 years ago. You'd be amazed how things look from this age's angle...You start to accept life. You look for bluer skies, greener grass, brighter futures. Not that you didn't years ago...but now, it's your goal. You want to pave your own road to success, but to do that, you've also got to write your own guide while doing the paving.

That proably didn't make any sense to any of you, but it's along the lines of we write the books to our future, for others to one day read.

I can't say I look forward, or don't look forward to my 19th birthday. It's been a really rough year for me. Some of my best friends have been shipped off, two of them in the Navy right now. Some have moved away, and some...have just plain become assinine. I guess it's part of growing up, you lose the comfort that you get in numbers, as you try to better yourself.

I really miss my more careless days, though. Staying up really late playing video games and talking to my best friends. Nowdays, i'm hardly up to midnight anymore, and while it may say in the subtext that i'm playing alot of video games, i'm rarely on any of them anymore. Including Ragnarok Online, and i've been playing that for 3 years.

Now I rarely find myself on it for 5 minutes a day, if at all.

I've also come to appreciate what I have alot more. Awhile back...things just seemed so much more replaceable than they do now. I cherish things that I can call my own...but I guess that's another part of growing up there. You want things you can call your own.

Your own car.

Your own house.

Your own family.

Your own everything.

Now...I know this sounds really down, but i'm actually thinking and writing all this in a very thoughtful, psuedohappy mood. I'm just wondering what life has in store for me at this point.

Thanks to everyone that still reads this. I don't know if any of you do, but if you still do, I really appreciate it. It's been a long time since that first entry back in March, 2004, but those who have read up to this point...

I raise a glass to you.

(A glass of soda of course, considering I don't drink.)

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Anthony McIntyre II,
aka. Doomed2k